(This topic isn’t one I’m crazy about, the “blurb” below is only a tiny fraction of how much I’ve wrote about Ginger and 3-18-1995, maybe more will come, lots of deleting involved with this post, I know that this event has been the strongest defining moment of my life, this day gave me the opportunity to truly cherish love, family, friends and time)


On March 18th 1995 I was involved in an accident. I was traveling home with my teammates; Murray State had just been defeated in the opening round of the NCAA tournament by the North Carolina Tarheels. Murray had led the game by 2 at the half; they went on to lose by 10. The Tarheels made it to the final 4 that year. Murray State played them close, but not close enough…

If MSU had pulled off a victory that day, most likely, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Traveling in a Murray State University van, I and the rest of the Murray State Cheerleaders were headed towards home. Without any warning the tire tread from the driver side rear dislodged. The driver was unable to control the vehicle. The van went into the median after a few sharp swerves. We flipped end over end several times before finally coming to rest on the far shoulder of the far side of the interstate. We came to rest on all four tires. Many of my closest friends were severely injured.

The crash did yield one fatal injury. Ginger Adams wasn’t pronounced dead at the scene, she held on for a few days before finally passing away in the ICU at Vanderbilt Hospital. She never regained consciousness… I still remember the pattern on the dress she was wearing… If I had known the last time I talked to her was going to be the last time…Undoubtedly, I would have thought of something worth saying.

Perhaps, that I knew the world was a far better place with her in it. That she had the ability to light up others, that she seemed to create smiles, laughter and joy. That coming to know her was one of the best experiences of my life, that I was so happy to have come to Murray State University.

Ginger had taken it upon herself to “recruit” me to come to MSU… Ginger was the first college girl I’d ever met. She was bright and energizing. She had a great sense of humor and was one of the most charming people I’ve ever known. I was partnered with Ginger in what was my freshman year with MSU… She was the first to show me around the campus, helped me with registration, she “mother henned” me quite a bit... I became very close to Ginger in a short amount of time. She would have been able to talk the teeth and claws off of a lion; she was warm and disarming… You couldn’t help but let your guard down around her. She’d keep asking questions till you truly felt like talking and opening up.

I don’t want anyone who reads this to ever get the wrong idea…I never kissed Ginger, never held her hand, never asked her on a date; I didn’t have traditional romantic feelings for her. She was kind in a way that can’t be described. Gregarious and open while still somehow seeming to be mysteriously quiet and reserved… She lit up a room, heads would turn, conversations would stop, and people couldn’t get enough of her.

Ginger wanted to be a mother, a wife a teacher; she loved her family with all of her heart… She died, March 24th 1995, four days after my birthday…, I, and several others were left to figure out why we lived…

I know I’m much more than lucky, not just because I didn’t die on the highway that day. I’m much more than lucky because of the perspective I’ve gained through the tragedy of Losing Ginger.

I feel I’ve been given a chance. A chance to live a life worth living. A life with honor, a life that celebrates both love, commitment and time.

I’m constantly afraid I’m not earning the chance I’ve been given. As if, I’m wasting my life, I feel so far behind schedule. I try not to feel this way, sometimes I can’t help it... Losing Ginger taught me not to wait, not to hold back, to be open and honest with your loved ones. Time will run out. You will wish you had one more day, at least I know I will.

I’m so sad I didn’t have more time with Ginger and her family. Although I did not know her very long, I miss her friendship everyday. In the end, one of my greatest fears is that the ambitions I have for my life will far exceed my talents, and in some way I will have not done the gift of my life justice.

Some days I force a smile. Some days a smile finds me and forces me to acknowledge that there is something out there pushing me towards the things I truly need and want in my life.

With all the loss, I know I gained the perspective and passion I have now to love and truly value both life and time…Don’t wait to tell your loved ones how you feel…
Ginger Adams was my friend. I lost her that day… I think of her daily. I wish I were brave enough to be part of her family’s life….


I’ve only told one person, one time, that they remind me of her… The moment may have been wrong; nevertheless I’ve never spoken truer words… She to, is warm and disarming, bright and beautiful… I feel more alive with her in my life… I’m thankful for every second I have with her.

Tune of the day:
“Light In Your Eyes”
Blessid Union of Souls