I’ve been thinking a great deal about adversity and circumstance…
Many of these thoughts, no doubt, were brought on after watching the movie “Precious”… I watched this movie with the two most important people in the world to me… so, it was hard for me to remove feelings of guilt with all the blessings my life holds… as they were seated right next to me…
Obviously I had numerous opportunities to cross compare challenges in my life vs. challenges that Precious had to face… till I had the thought that maybe you can’t compare “hurts”…
I’ve had my share of battles, and I’ve had my share of poignant moments… there’s no doubt about that… However, I’ve never felt more blessed and guilty than I did after watching what this child’s life…was.
I didn’t want to sit through that movie and take away only one panicked thought… “Thank Goodness that isn’t my life”, that isn’t quite all I wanted to carry away, I’ve hoped I can gain some sense of perspective pertaining to hurt and the owner of the hurt.
Moreover, we all have our own set of unique challenges, and all of them require energy and effort, this perceived energy and effort can’t process issues that we aren’t exposed to…All that to say, I guess, we don’t really know what we would do… till we are there… we don’t know how we’d feel till whatever it is, happens.
The only constants being we will suffer and triumph as we make our way, and we will dedicate energy into love or fear…
Precious had every possible hardship imaginable, had no one to care for her, no one to love her, no one to protect her and no one to love…? (feel free to scream blasphemy at me here for not thoroughly citing and crediting God’s Love) The trespasses committed against her were the vilest and most heinous acts one could imagine… As I think of the horrific abuse and hate she had to overcome, I ask myself this question…
Is her “hurt” somehow heavier than anyone else’s “hurt”?
Does guilt live where blessing abounds?
Does pain have some sort of “eye of the beholder” grasp on our heart??? We are all little meaning generating machines, who are all prisoner to our own set of experiences…
If Precious had been born into a middle class, responsible, loving and morally sound family, couldn’t some other horrific set of circumstances find her and somehow she end up hurting just as much???
I think about these “fat cat” (that’s an Obama term) guys on Wall Street, and how they have to possibly cap their own salary out at $500,000 a year… now, I’d take that salary in a millisecond, and retire in 2 18 months… however these guys are most likely crying in their Krystal and getting the tear snots all over their Brooks Brothers… Is their pain still real? not to us… right??? They most likely have to pull their kids out of the $80,000 a year preschools and into the $40,000 a year preschools, taking a 2 month trip to Europe instead of 4 month… etc... The point being… their life is irrevocably changing and amidst both chaos and angst…. But, we think they are getting what they deserve and they should still consider themselves lucky …because they have money…
No one can control where or who they come from …
If Precious had money and an affluent upbringing… do you think she could have avoided all suffering? Can’t rich girls be abused and betrayed, go ask Elin Woods… how many people do you know with money that keep the money from the people and places that really need help in their lives ???
I think what I’m getting at with this convoluted mess of a thought is that pain doesn’t discriminate…. Impoverished people can suffer; Monetarily wealthy people can suffer… The meanings we generate from our experiences do not protect nor insulate us from pain and suffering…
The human condition can and will happen, even if you are totally surrounded by extrinsic blessing… I hold true that what we decide to cling to when we face that challenge will determine the fulfillment or demise of our heart.
I hold this to be one of many things that make both the human being and the human condition uniquely odd…
Pain doesn’t care about circumstances, color, socioeconomic status, gender or context, it just hurts…
So while I remember to put my blessed life into perspective, I guess what I also want to hold onto is the notion that hurt just hurts… when these hurts go on being trivialized or ignored, by yourself or others… the hurt shows up eventually somehow, someway and if trivialized and ignored for too long, hurt will abound…
Forgive these foolish thoughts, there are those that would say these are the rants of a middle class white male who knows nothing of pain and suffering… to that I’d say…
You’ve proven my point…
