Trust.
Without question one of the hardest things to do in this world, is trust another human being… I don't trust people to handle my luggage, how could I ever trust someone with my heart ? ? ?
Let me get this out of the way, we are all jaded, we've all been broken, we've all swam in hurt, bathed in pain and at some point in time we knew that the feeling of deep dark sadness in our heart would never ever ever go away…Nevertheless, the sun came up, enough time passed, that deep cut stopped bleeding, now ...its only a scar…. My point here is this and only this, I try to fill my heart with gratitude daily. Give yourself time, love yourself a lot. Focus on the love you are capable of, not the pain your in.
I've put so much time and energy in my burdens over the course of my tenure that its nearly drove me insane…(so do you, so stop it) I dare not quote some cliché about it only taking so many muscles to frown and far fewer to smile, nor dare I say "think good and good is what you get"… I will say this. I rise everyday full of thanks and gratitude for my blessings. If you've loved or been loved once, that’s more than it happens for most people…
Hurt, beautiful, exquisite, perfect hurt…. I've had pain in my life that wouldn't allow me to love like I'm capable of if that pain had never occurred. Did that pain wake me up ? Would I have truly ever been able to embrace the sweet, if I'd not tasted that sour ??? Loss doesn't have to last. Nor does pain, nor tears, nor hurt, nor despair, nor a heavy heart. I'd say the true pain comes from not learning something, not allowing yourself to grow, not applying the lesson into your life. That is damage, that’s pain. If we kid ourselves about our own destructive thoughts and behaviors we will never learn a thing...
A callous heart requires no energy, no effort, no thought, BUT… the great thing about a callous heart is that someone can and will still love that callous heart… A callous heart still beats, still wants, still needs.
You can't heal me, I can't heal you, you can't save me, I can't save you, with that being said. It all still starts with kindness. If we can turn kindness into constant, I think we'll find those callous hearts soften enough to let those few choice people into your life. Guard your heart, with all you've got… I'm not saying don't be careful.. I'm saying when the time is right. Jump. When you know, you know.
In my life, if I'm being honest, my love needs not to have to hurdle over, logic, time, reason or tier 2 financing… the heart wants what the heart wants.
I try to follow the feeling, live a viciously loyal life and trust that my heart knows far better than anything else.
Trust is a necessary risk of love. Trust takes effort, just like loving. I'm still terrified to trust. I want to love and be loved far far far more than I want to live terrified.
Is it time that heals the pain of broken trust or is it love ? ? ? Both, would most likely be the common response… I'd agree but I'd add this notion. Time on this world is finite. Love isn't… your love will transcend beyond time, beyond this world. You may very well run out of time...
Get off your ass, get out there, tear down some walls, let someone in, take a chance, trust somebody, go make a hundred good looking babies….
Tune of the day
"Question"
By The Old 97's
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
If I believe one thing, its that there are only a very few people in this world who are really alive… I've been fortunate enough during my tenure to meet more than a couple of these people. I've learned from them as much as I could, I'd like to think that I've at least tried to convince more than a few who have crossed my path the same. One of the major distinctions with these "highly evolved" individuals is the passion they attempt to put in their daily lives. How they love their "one", their families, friends, co workers, neighbors, strangers and all other creatures on this earth has largely shaped how I choose to love this world also. That certainly shouldn't infer that these people I have met, and myself, aren't sometimes terrified of this world.. In my experience some of the most passionate, loving, inspiring people I have ever met, have also had the most convincing demons… With that said, resiliency comes into play daily, if not hourly.
There are so many negative things coming at you from day to day. Most of the time these negative energies are from people and places that supposedly care about you the most. Not to say that these people and institutions don't truly care about you and love you, just to say they choose to live their life through fear based logic. Love based logic, that’s where I try to stay, if anyone can tell me how to stay their 100% of the time, I'd be all ears to stay all heart. : ) We'll talk later about trust, I understand the complexity that come with those 5 letters, another day we will tackle trust.
Another common denominator with these people is how they walk around and view the world they are a part of. They walk around in a state of constant amazement, they find life in every breath, celebrate every sandwich and make every moment count. In the end, I'll no longer care about my 401K, won't wish I stayed I the office longer, won't regret that I never made CIO of my company… In the end your going to miss your love, your family, your friends. Work everyday to bridge the gaps that hinder the love of your friendships. Pick up the phone, make plans, put your arms around people you normally wouldn't. Be kind to a stranger for absolutely no reason at all. Pay someone a complement when they don't see one coming. As fast as all this life and love started, it will be over just as quickly. This world, this love, will never be long enough for me. I certainly do not fear the afterlife that awaits me. I've just pulled some beautiful meaning from my experiences in this world, which brings me to another point.
A constant for all of us is the phenomenon of experience and our little internal factories churning these experiences into meaning. Not all experience will produce meaning worth keeping, and sometimes the meaning must be up upgraded, updated and will change so much over the course of a lifetime that you have no frame of reference as to where you started. If love is my number one daily goal, growth is a very close second. In these experience updates and upgrades I pray I will become better. Better to love, better to forgive, better to bring into action the perfect plans in my heart.
Put your arms around somebody today, cut yourself and someone else some slack. We are all dealing with a mountain of imperfections. The acknowledgement of these imperfections is only half of the struggle, the other half is forgiving yourself and other's daily for those imperfections. We are all doing time, all locked up, all broken down and at times, we all feel all alone.
This is never the case.
The heart inside your chest holds the keys to the kingdom and all you desire. Live your life, with love based logic, do not dwell in fear, for you'll find you've lived years of your life being afraid. Be brave enough to love, in these vulnerabilities you will find yourself. Life is too fucking short. Our love is the only thing that will be on this earth after we are gone. The love for your partner, the love for your family, how you treated those around you, how you stood up to be counted everyday of your life. That’s how I want to be measured by my God, by this world. The sun will always rise, love will always win.
In closing, Live inside your own heart, allow a few choice others to live in there with you, you'll find it is a very big place to live.
Tune of the day.
1-2-3-4
By the Plain White T's
There are so many negative things coming at you from day to day. Most of the time these negative energies are from people and places that supposedly care about you the most. Not to say that these people and institutions don't truly care about you and love you, just to say they choose to live their life through fear based logic. Love based logic, that’s where I try to stay, if anyone can tell me how to stay their 100% of the time, I'd be all ears to stay all heart. : ) We'll talk later about trust, I understand the complexity that come with those 5 letters, another day we will tackle trust.
Another common denominator with these people is how they walk around and view the world they are a part of. They walk around in a state of constant amazement, they find life in every breath, celebrate every sandwich and make every moment count. In the end, I'll no longer care about my 401K, won't wish I stayed I the office longer, won't regret that I never made CIO of my company… In the end your going to miss your love, your family, your friends. Work everyday to bridge the gaps that hinder the love of your friendships. Pick up the phone, make plans, put your arms around people you normally wouldn't. Be kind to a stranger for absolutely no reason at all. Pay someone a complement when they don't see one coming. As fast as all this life and love started, it will be over just as quickly. This world, this love, will never be long enough for me. I certainly do not fear the afterlife that awaits me. I've just pulled some beautiful meaning from my experiences in this world, which brings me to another point.
A constant for all of us is the phenomenon of experience and our little internal factories churning these experiences into meaning. Not all experience will produce meaning worth keeping, and sometimes the meaning must be up upgraded, updated and will change so much over the course of a lifetime that you have no frame of reference as to where you started. If love is my number one daily goal, growth is a very close second. In these experience updates and upgrades I pray I will become better. Better to love, better to forgive, better to bring into action the perfect plans in my heart.
Put your arms around somebody today, cut yourself and someone else some slack. We are all dealing with a mountain of imperfections. The acknowledgement of these imperfections is only half of the struggle, the other half is forgiving yourself and other's daily for those imperfections. We are all doing time, all locked up, all broken down and at times, we all feel all alone.
This is never the case.
The heart inside your chest holds the keys to the kingdom and all you desire. Live your life, with love based logic, do not dwell in fear, for you'll find you've lived years of your life being afraid. Be brave enough to love, in these vulnerabilities you will find yourself. Life is too fucking short. Our love is the only thing that will be on this earth after we are gone. The love for your partner, the love for your family, how you treated those around you, how you stood up to be counted everyday of your life. That’s how I want to be measured by my God, by this world. The sun will always rise, love will always win.
In closing, Live inside your own heart, allow a few choice others to live in there with you, you'll find it is a very big place to live.
Tune of the day.
1-2-3-4
By the Plain White T's
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
broken hearts still beat
every tear will dry away
love heals what you can't
just a lil haiku to start things off. i suppose this would be a question, and i suppose the question would be this... A mood? where does the mood come from ? is the mood just inherently in you ? does someone totally create this mood for you ? Or, is it somewhere in the mystery of human chemistry, and... upon collision of these chemistry's.. is the aforementioned mood then created ??? How much of love is just being at the right place at the right time ? Could it really be just blind stinking luck ??? Do you make your mood? or find your mood ? does the mood just find you ? Are we all just floating through the universe ?
I think not, I say you see something you want, grab it with both hands, MAKE YOUR OWN MOOD. CLAIM WHAT IS YOURS. TAKE YOUR LIFE AND EVERYONE IN IT SERIOUSLY.
tune of the day-Carolina Liar's "Show Me What I'm Looking For"
every tear will dry away
love heals what you can't
just a lil haiku to start things off. i suppose this would be a question, and i suppose the question would be this... A mood? where does the mood come from ? is the mood just inherently in you ? does someone totally create this mood for you ? Or, is it somewhere in the mystery of human chemistry, and... upon collision of these chemistry's.. is the aforementioned mood then created ??? How much of love is just being at the right place at the right time ? Could it really be just blind stinking luck ??? Do you make your mood? or find your mood ? does the mood just find you ? Are we all just floating through the universe ?
I think not, I say you see something you want, grab it with both hands, MAKE YOUR OWN MOOD. CLAIM WHAT IS YOURS. TAKE YOUR LIFE AND EVERYONE IN IT SERIOUSLY.
tune of the day-Carolina Liar's "Show Me What I'm Looking For"
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