“Ain't no time two people staring at each other, or standing still, loving both with their eyes are equal. Truth is, someone is chasing someone. That's the way we's built. So, who's chasing”?

This sentence is proof to me that genius can come from some truly awful places… The above quote is from M. Night Shamalyan’s “The Happening”… not a great piece of film to say the least... Nevertheless, well past the point of no return in the film, this thought was brought up by a character of insignificance… The thought has stayed with me quite some time, I continue to dwell on it now and then and have come up with these personal notions and feelings regarding the misplaced gem, found in an unfortunate movie.

First, I don’t agree with the quote completely. I think that it is possible to reach a moment of true and beautiful reciprocity in a relationship…

What are some of the mistakes that keep us from that???

I think a common mistake people make is that once their partnership becomes solidified, whether legally, verbally, blood oath, etc, they feel that “they” will cease to grow change and evolve… As individuals, we grow older, learn valuable lessons, make fresh mistakes, assimilate, evaluate, and continue to churn meaning from experience…

So why would we expect are relationships to remain still and stagnant??? Our relationships grow, change and evolve just as we do, most likely the dynamic of a “you and I” will change much more than the “you” alone...

I’m certainly not saying that we must “redefine the nature of our associations” on a daily basis…. However, I am saying that the human race by and large does a poor job giving our most valuable relationships any “regularly scheduled maintenance”… We speak to our accountants regularly, we take our cars into be serviced, we’ll go well out of our way to insure that we have the absolute best cable package… but more often than not we put our most meaningful relationships on “auto pilot”… ignoring the stressors and changes that we all under go daily…

I’m not talking about some general fact reporting either, it is of the utmost importance that you know how my day went, and that I know how your day went, etc… there is no debating that topic… I’m talking more about taking ultra seriously the thoughts, feelings, wishes and wants of your partner… Being “plugged into” one another isn’t of any real value and use unless you’re communicating these feelings and thoughts to one another…

Growing apart doesn’t have to happen, I think it’s possible to love and grow, evolve and change together… That beautiful reciprocity in a loving monogamous relationship can’t happen… unless it happens every day…

“Staring at each other”… yet another impediment to our beautiful reciprocity is that we stop staring at one another… By this of course I mean to say that we lose balance with one another and forget how in love we “could” be… We lose that moment to moment amazement with life and with one another…

Communicating with one another with constant caring intent, showing up for one another every single day, focusing on loving, not being loved, holding, not being held…. Surely this can help keep us “staring” at our loved one…

Being “obviously together”, I think is another way we should celebrate one another…

If you walk into a crowded restaurant, or church, or shopping mall, observe how many couples you see together who appear to be totally oblivious to one another... No smiles, no laughter, no expression that even somewhat suggests anything close to adoration or an expression of gratitude for the person they are with…

I always feel compelled to meet those who will immediately take this to an ugly extreme… I’m not talking about endless, gratuitous PDAs… Certainly, some PDAs can be healthy and just, some can be excessive and unnecessary, even to the point of being unflattering…

All I’m saying is this… when I see a couple, sitting together, walking along with one another, whether they are 80 years old or teenagers, if they are holding hands, my heart leaps a little bit for them.. THAT IS EFFORT in keeping a connectedness and natural attraction that keeps your partner from becoming your roommate or stranger you go to sleep with… I’ve never seen a survey, but I’d love to start one up… I wonder if couples who hold hands most of the time they can, are happier in their relationship than those that don’t??? I’d be willing to bet that they are.

I only go off on the tangent about holding hands to also add that if we can start with holding hands, maybe keeping the “stare” for one another will feel more natural regardless of time…

Also a very thought provoking notion in the quote about “standing still”… I would imagine, somewhere between courting and the 2.5 kids, you find yourself, with your partner… saying “now what” ??? To that, (yes my expertise is all theoretical at this point), but for my life I would hope to say, at that point, we can fall into one another all over again, the toil of career and raising children will inevitably take time away from you and your partner…

Of course, in a relationship that’s pushing daily for reciprocity, whether no kids or 10 kids you’re making a daily effort and commitment to celebrate and remember that you and your partner are the heart and soul of your family… I would hope very much for my life that whether courting or approaching “standing still” the daily remembrances of the beginning of our life together will be the foremost in both of our thoughts and actions…


Lastly we come to the notion of chasing… This is one of the more simple thoughts to me… Someone may be chasing more at one point than their partner, the degree your able to chase may slow down and speed up as “life” continues to happen around you both… I want to live and believe in the notion that you should always be chasing and never become reticent in your affections for one another…

We must keep chasing; keep making a daily affirmation to make loving choices, for ourselves, for our partners, for our families… I see a strong correlation to chasing and loving; if you really love someone you’ll chase them, how fast for how long is irrelevant, if you truly want them in your life, you’ll never grow tired of the chase…

One of the opening statements I made was that I think that it is possible to reach a moment of true and beautiful reciprocity in a relationship… I think its two people chasing one another around, in varying speeds and at various intervals, as they go through life and all of life’s challenges… together…




Tune of the day:

“Ain’t Gonna Lose You”
By Brett Dennen

un·de·bat·a·ble (ŭn'dĭ-bā'tə-bəl) adj. Closed to debate or further discussion: undebatable facts.un'de·bat'a·bly adv.


I’ve found myself doing a great deal of “self censorship” lately… this post isn’t anything new and exciting, moreover it’s my joy in written word, which of course to me, is.. new and exciting… I have a lot of ideas for posts working, yet am unable to bring them to a conclusion … I promise I’m trying to get new ideas and thoughts into “blog” form… please be patient : )


I find myself centering on one wonderful concept… A concept I encourage every soul on this earth to give themselves to, for I feel it’s the best reason to be alive…

“Don’t Be Afraid To Love Someone, Don’t Be Afraid To Let Someone Love You”…

I try now more than ever to live a life that reflects choosing Love Based Logic over Fear Based Logic; this single thought has removed an enormous amount of obstacles for me…

So... take this confession as a “thank you”…

I’ll never be able to fully express myself to this sweet girl, though I do love to try…

She is my favorite person; she’s the best part of every day… These are just a few of my reasons,

This list grows everyday.


You know you’re in love with someone when you’d rather rub their feet and sit on the couch with them than be anywhere else in the whole world… When you feel more at home inside your own heart than you ever thought possible, when you’re thankful… every second of everyday, for all the feelings they helped you find…

You know you’re in love when you start to fantasize about coming home to them every night, or them coming home to you, what now matters most is that “home” is wherever they are…

The thought of them in pajama pants or shorts and t-shirts thrills you as you know they are about to be “still” for a while…You can’t keep your eyes, hands or heart away from them…

You only want to be near them for they make your soul sing…

You know your in love when your daydreams and your sleeping dreams overlap and stay with you everyday, all day… you can’t tell where one stops and the other begins…Your content, to “lose sleep”, just to daydream”…

You start to wonder, if you tried as hard as you can, could you actually keep the sun from coming up, so that the night you have together wouldn’t end…. No matter how hard you try you can’t keep those moments from passing by, you just don’t want them to ever end…

You know your in love when your heart physically tightens up when you have to be away from them, it feels as if a hand closes around your heart and makes a fist, a fist clenched so tightly it shakes… your arms feel so empty… The second you get your eyes to them, your arms back around them, you feel your heart relax, then open and wrap around them along with your arms….


When a baby wants to be picked up and they open and close their hands quickly, their little heats flutter along with their eyes and hands, with their arms out stretched for you…. You know you’re in love when you’ve actually felt your heart, hands and eyes do the very same thing at the sight of your love…

You know you’re in love when your heart swells and nearly bursts everyday with gratitude that your love is in your life. You know you’ve never done anything in your existence to deserve the love you have, but you know you’re willing to prove your worth daily to your loved one and to God that brought your love to you…

You want to show this person, every single day, you want to let your love out, you want to take care of them, for they’ve given meaning to your life that you had no right to expect…

More than anything else in this world I am thankful for who I am today, and for the love and hope I have in my heart…

Thank you so much… sweet, sweet girl…


Tune of the day
“Moodring”
By Paul Thorn

(I had a dream about walking on a tight rope once, I don’t know if I’ve heard something like this in the past, or how much of it is my own creation… a Google revealed nothing to me… Once upon a time I started writing a short story about “the walker”, but to date, haven’t finished… I know that many people think that metaphors are one of the worst forms of both literary and intellectual expression, to those people, I say BOO ON YOU! If I have one thing in mind with this idea, it’s to try and get someone to think who, what or where they are in this “walk”…



He had traveled the world to put himself to the test. Most often he succeeded, he held onto his failures like others hold onto hope… He wasn’t the world’s most famous tight rope walker; though he did have his moments. He had set unimaginable records, whenever someone told him a walk couldn’t be done, he had to prove them wrong. He made it his moment to moment mission in life to make the impossible… possible… He would always jokingly comment before getting on the tightrope, that he was just, “Going for a walk”,

He loved his life, he loved his family and friends, however, all of his passion was with the wire… With all of his success and all of his accomplishments he still felt the need to better himself and find more challenging walks.
In this search he did find a single incident that forever changed his viewpoint, when his ambitions did, at least, momentarily, exceed his talents…

Once again everyone told him this particular stunt was impossible and that he was a fool for even attempting such a feat. He prepared tirelessly, refused both food and sleep. Upon the day of the feat, high winds and low visibility virtually assured everyone in attendance that the stunt wasn’t going to happen. Not to mention the walk was nearly three times the length of the current world record for distance at that height. The tight rope walker didn’t listen to his counsel and announced that the walk would go on … as planned...

About 50 paces before completion a powerful gust of wind and a wet line caused the walker to fall approximately 380 feet into a waterfall and river that was scattered with rock and tremendous swirling current. The walker surfaced about a mile downstream, he had survived. His injuries included two horrifically broken legs, a broken back and a shattered jaw which required his mouth to be wired shut for 9 months, during which time he was unable to speak. He lay in a bed at a hospital in Peru for nearly 16 months…. After the painful wiring was removed from his jaw, he still needed a few more months to learn to speak again. Nearly a year to the day after his fall he was able to put together this request. “Please, get me to my feet”…

Another year later he did that very thing, he barely spoke during his rehabilitation, when he did he only spoke of “What could have possibly gone wrong”? “How did this happen”, Why did this happen to me” et al…However his eyes grew brighter with every day he gained strength… His family and friends surrounded him with love and kindness. He came to realize that when he was on the wire, his family shared in his excitement, thrill, and love. Of course, his family suffered with him as he continued to suffer, throughout his recovery... Nevertheless, he realized he wasn’t alone, and that he’d never been alone…

Eventually, he no longer questioned the why, what, or how of that day… He only wanted to return to the cliff from which he fell, 400 miles north of Lima… Most thought he only wanted to return to reflect on the tragic event that transpired… Once he started assembling materials and a crew to set up for another attempt at a crossing of these great falls everyone assumed him mad … He assured his family and friends that he was perfectly sane and wanted to do this more than anything else in his life…His loved ones knew how he cared for them, they knew he loved them more than life itself.. Still, he feverishly prepared for at least, one more walk, years after the first attempt nearly claimed his life, the walk that caused him more pain and suffering than he ever thought possible…

The day came and the conditions were nearly identical, low visibility, soaring heights, unpredictable winds, the swirling currents below, the jagged rocks that lined the river’s banks, and mist that immediately wetted the wire which he had now fought nearly 2 and a half years of his life to get back to. As the time came for the crossing, he inched towards the ledge. He realized in those final moments that he felt more alive on the wire, more alive than anywhere else in the world… He was willing to risk himself and all he loved to feel like he felt standing on the wire. He longed for this feeling, all his life. He felt more complete with his life and his love with the feeling of the wire under his feet. He then concluded that;

“Out on the wire is living”… All other time was simply waiting…

He knew one day he would run out of time, he also knew that this feeling was life itself.

The “walk” seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. He successfully accomplished his object. Instead of falling into the river and waterfall below, this time he fell into the arms of his family and friends. In as much as he loved the wire, he knew he had found what he was looking for…

tune of the day

"In Need Of A Miracle"
by New Radicals

Due to the request of a dear friend, I’ve opted to post something on an extremely light-hearted note.

I’ve always thought one of the most beautiful and tragic love stories, is the story of the life and inevitable death of the Pop Tart… That being said, I’ve attached a haiku below that honors their commitment, love and the sweet sorrow they know awaits them…


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Same Flavor, Same Size, Same Love
I Hope I Go First