Finding out that you weren’t who you thought you were to someone is hard.

Finding out that you never were… is even harder.

The questions “Who am I” and “Where am I going” are a little too broad in scope to even bother to ask, I think a more appropriate question is “Who am I now” ?

If I wasn’t who I thought I was to someone I was so close to, and love so much, how can I trust who I am at all…

Paralyzed in a moment in time, without enough energy to care to hide it from people when they ask “what’s wrong”… I ask myself how it’s possible my instincts failed me so spectacularly.

Self worth may be the most important variable; however, realizing your worth to someone else drastically realigns who you are to yourself.


Finding out that you were “Better as a Memory” … is difficult to live with, regardless of the directions and interpretations you may take away from the lyrics below...




I move on like a sinners prayer
And letting go like a levee breaks
Walk away as if I don't care
Learn to shoulder my mistakes
Or built to fade like your favorite song
Get reckless when there's no need
Laugh as your stories ramble on
Break my heart, but it won't bleed
My only friends are pirates
That's just who I am
But I'm better as a memory than as your man
Never sure when the truth won't do
And pretty good on a lonely night
Or move on the way a storm blows through
And never stay, but then again, I might.
I struggle sometimes to find the words
Always sure until I doubt
Walk a line until it blurs
Build walls too high to climb out
But I'm honest to a fault
That's just who I am
I'm better as a memory than as your man
I see you leaning, you're bound to fall
I don't want to be that mistake
I'm just a dreamer and nothing more
You should know it before it gets too late
Cause goodbyes are like a roulette wheel
You never know where they're gonna land
First you're spinning, then you're standing still
Left holding a losing hand
But one day you're gonna find someone
And right away you'll know it's true
That all of your seeking's done
It's just a part of the passing through
Right there in that moment you'll finally understand
That I was better as a memory than as your man

Better as a memory than as your man

“Better as a Memory”
Kenny Chesney