Sometimes I think that my ancestors are laughing at me… I never knew my grandfathers, and painfully estranged from my father I’ve often thought that I missed out on some much needed advice… as the generations pass, something needs to get handed down…

When I think about the time in which I live from a societal point of view… Its amazing how much more complicated we live…

For instance my grandfather’s grandfaher, had a hand to mouth existence, he hunted, gathered… he then found a mate, they then hunted, planted and gathered together, reproduced (added more worker bees to the hive) then they all hunted, planted, crafted, dwelled and gathered together…

Now sure, there are still a lot of worries there, drought, bear attack, lack of rain, cold winters etc… but there’s no worry of career, no worry about the damage your childhood may have done to you… Your inner monalogue consisted of planting crops, raising livestock, providing shelter and warmth for your family… you never really were presented with the option of being bored… I sit at home with 400 channels, the internet, blu rays, iphone, blackberry, work to do, 7 gyms to go to, a car, malls, movie theaters… and I’m still bored to death…

Do you think your grandfather’s grandfather ever said… “Man I wish I could see my abs” ??? That vanity or need didn’t exist, there wasn’t any advertising to make you feel bad about yourself, you didn’t ever think…. “gee, I really need to work on me”… you were to f’ing busy to worry about anything other than the crops, finding game to consume and your family’s vitality… and the development of that family did not consist of a liberal education from a noteworthy university in the hopes that you could find a nice paying job so you could then go and buy a bunch of shit that you don’t need !!!

Have you ever seen a home that was built in the 1900s to 1940s ??? the size of the closets ? they were tiny closets for a reason, they didn’t collect vintage sneakers, or have three dozen super hero t-shirts, they saw clothing not as decoration for the body’s they toiled over, but rather something to hide the shame of their nudeness… (thanks eve)

I’m really getting way off tangent on what I really want to list today, but I think some of the arguments above frame this nicely…
What would your grandfather’s grandfather say about relationships today ? Considering being self aware really wasn’t a concept anyone could gather then… Now, I’m not saying anything derragatory about the women’s movement, a push for civil rights… that time… had its issues, and maybe we are better off in some ways now..maybe…

What I really am thinking about is the concept of relationship conflict and the thoughts that come up, most importantly the differences that time and space have created…

Now, I’m supposed to go and talk to somebody… what happened to the strong silent type ? I’m supposed to take anti depressants to pep up, sleeping pills to pep down, not turn to alcohol, consult with my HMO about my prescriptions, talk to another therapist, see an actual medical doctor, talk to the HMO again, find out my $150 anti depressants aren’t covered past 30 days, so I have to pay “list price” for the pharmaceutical companys latest “fix it all pill” that most likely is doing irreversible damage to my liver and kidneys, but taken all in effort to save my heart…

So I guess the question I’m asking, is what the hell did my grandfather’s grandfather do if and when his heart ever got broken ? Was there even a conceptualiztion of what heartbreak even is ???


Ok, about the lyrics I’ve listed below, let me say this first and foremost… I think John Mayer is a monumental douche bag… all that to say, he has kind of modernistic viewpoint of heartbreak… wheras, “Lucille’ lists yet another, perhaps more grandfather’s grandfather’s viewpoint…





Lightning strikes
Inside my chest to keep me up at night
Dream of waysTo make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love why don't you say so
If you want more love why don't you say so
Drop his name
Push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs falling every where
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love why don't you say so
If you want more love why don't you say so
Just say so
How come the only way you know how high you get me
Is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
But I can't break through it all
It's a heart... heartbreak
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Lets just fix this whole thing now
I swear to god were gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and Ambien you're talking shit again
It's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name
It's heartbreak... heartbreak
It's heartbreak warfare
It's heartbreak warfare
It's heartbreak warfare

John MayerHeartbreak Warfare lyrics






In a bar in Toledo,
across from the depot,
On a barstool she took off her ring.
I thought I'd get closer
So I walked on over.
I sat down and asked her her name.
When the drinks finally hit her,
She said,"I'm no quitter,
But I finally quit living on dreams.
I'm hungry for laughter,
and here ever after
I'm after whatever the other life brings.
"In the mirror I saw him,
And I closely watched him.
I thought how he looked out of place.
He came to the woman
Who sat there beside me.
He had a strange look on his face.
Now his big hands were calloused,
He looked like a mountain,
For a minute I thought I was dead.
But he started shaking,
His big heart was breaking,
And he turned to the woman and said,
"You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and crops in the field.
I've had some bad times,
lived through some sad times,
this time the hurtin' won't heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me,Lucille.
After he left us, I ordered more whiskey.
I thought how she'd made him look small.
From the lights of the barroom to the rented hotel room
We walked without talking at all.
Now she was a beauty, but when she came to me
She must have thought I'd lost my mind.
I couldn't hold her, for the words that he told her
Kept comin' back time after time.
"You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field.
I've had some bad times,
I lived through some sad times,
this time the hurtin' won't heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hungry children and a crop in the field.
I've had some bad times,
lived through some sad times,
this time the hurtin' won't heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me,Lucille.

“Lucille” LyricsKenny Rogers