I have to trick myself; I have to make something up other than the truth in my head, because my heart has sternly acknowledged that it’s not going to deal with the situation…

If I don’t know who I am, maybe I can convince myself I’m not actually coming from… where I’m coming from…If I can lie to myself long enough, maybe I’ll forget about the truth.

In some highly detailed, never ending opus I play on “repeat” in my heart, I apply some transcendental meditation and I rise above the translation of what I know is the inevitable conclusion I’ll never face…

During a conversation with a close friend, I gave a recount of my recent experiences with losing and loss, and somewhere in my telling, my friend tried to convince me of this… That people on this earth will always let you down, and always disappoint you… That the only way to not be disappointed, hurt, betrayed and let down is to love God above all other things…

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this argument… and I’ll not debate anyone who wants to believe this with their whole heart… I do ask this, can I not love a gift from God with all of my heart’s might, on this earth, in both an earthly way and in a way that is beyond this world? all the while, giving thanks totally to God, who brought such favor and blessing in my life… in short, isn’t loving a person, on this earth more than you love yourself, because you know they are a gift from God…essentially the same argument my dear friend was trying to make?

I hope my friend is wrong…

Wherever you wander, I will always love you...

I guess you could argue that the lyrics below could be directed towards someone on this earth, or perhaps… to someone you can’t quite reach …




You look like... a perfect fit,
For a girl in need... of a tourniquet.
But can you save me?
Come on and save me...
If you could save me,
From the ranks of the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone.
'Cause I can tell... you know what it's like.
A long farewell... of the hunger strike.
But can you save me?
Come on and save me...
If you could save me,
From the ranks of the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone.
You struck me dumb, Like radium
Like Peter Pan, or Superman,
You have come... to save me.
Come on and save me...
If you could save me,
From the ranks of the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone,
Except the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone,
But the freaks,Who suspect they could never love anyone.
Come on and save me...
Why don't you save me?
If you could save me,
From the ranks of the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone,
Except the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone,
Except the freaks,
Who could never love anyone.

“Save Me”
By Aimee Mann