I celebrated my 34th birthday this past Saturday…

I use “celebrated” as a very loose term… more aptly put, I acknowledged exactly my position in the world with relation to accomplishment and life expectancy...

A few people who care about me gathered at a familiar spot where familiar people can laugh and enjoy too much wine…

To steal a line from Forest Gump… “Somewhere in the middle of all that fun”… a wave of melancholy washed over me and I had this thought…

Hurt attracts Hurt… and maybe that’s just how it has to be… Someone, sometime, somewhere, somehow, for whatever reason has their whole world taken away from them and they find themselves hurting like they never knew possible…

That hurt will inevitably attract more possible paths for hurt to flourish… Personal relationships will suffer, if someone becomes withdrawn. Your outlook and general demeanor towards life suffers to, as you find yourself more and more locked up within the chambers of your own mind…

That kind voice that used to be your inner monologue, now only reminds you that things aren’t getting any better as you continue to drift and drift further from the shore of well-being that was once your home…

There is no tourniquet for the hemorrhage of your broken, bleeding heart…

You miss your love, you miss the comfort of a life you looked forward to, you missed a better “you”… but most of all you miss the last piece of you that still felt alive… as you now live in a world that is best described as overall being… “hollow”

Someone in the cyclical nature of hurt…someone must decide to stop it…


Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters Till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Dont you remember anything I said when i said
Dont fall awayAnd leave me to myself
Dont fall away
And leave love bleeding In my hands
In my hands again
And leave love bleeding
In my handsIn my hands
Love lies bleeding
Oh hold me now
I feel contagious
Am I the only place That you' ve left to go
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white
Dead actors faking lines
Over and over and over again she cries
Dont fall away
And leave me to myself
Dont fall away
And leave love bleeding
In my handsIn my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my handsIn my hands
Love lies bleeding
And I wanted
You turned away
You dont remember
But I do
You never even tried
Dont fall away
And leave me to myself
Dont fall awayAnd leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my handsIn my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my handsIn my hands again

Fuel - Hemorrage (In My Hands) lyrics